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Conversations_with_Emily
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Name: Emily
Location: South Carolina
Birthday: 12/1/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: Music means a lot to me. I like being with my friends. My boyfriend and I used to live 5 min apart, now we live 13 hours apart. We make it work. I am a live in Nanny. I want to be a teacher, and I will get my PhD. I plan on writing fiction novels/short stories. I love clothing, fashion, modeling and photography.I like being fit, looking good. I do realize that beauty is in the eye of the beholder-it just so happens that this beholder thinks fit is beautiful. I like alcoholic beverages. I love to dance, especially while drinking alcoholic beverages. I don't like vomit, so I've managed to make sure my love for alcoholic beverages has never caused me to do so. I like college. That's why I will teach at that level. Jesus is pretty good too, which is why I like him a lot.
Occupation: Student/Nanny
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  emmy11s
Member Since:
8/25/2004
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| Holy cow! There is so much going on!
SOO MUCH
Go look
That's my tumblr. I WISH WISH WISH WISH WISH xanga would come out with an App for Iphone so I could blog on the go, but unfortunatly until then I basically blog my mind on Twitter and Tumblr.
I try to come to Xanga but you'll never believe it:
I got a damn social life.
I know, right? 8months in a new place and now I have friends.
I'm a single lady. My best friend is getting an apartment here for the summer. I have a new love interest. (And by that I mean a dude that is smoking that I want to get alone in a dark ally.)
Man, I've been really busy. It's so nice.
Seriouosly.
Go look | | |
| I got a job.
I work as receptionist at a salon. On top of full time nannying. And marathon training.
Something had to give.
It was marathon training. I can't. I don't have the time. I hate it. That's all I had for me. I'm pretty upset about it. No DC.
Running made me feel good. I could talk about something I felt people should respect me for. Running over 3 miles a day, every day. That deserves respect. I looked better, I felt better, I was healthier.
I talk about it as if it were Oh-so-long-ago. I just gave up today.
There's too much guilt in being on time for work, and letting Ashley get work done. I can't marathon train at 7 in the dark. I mean I could...but...
My excuse is I've already taken a shower for the day, and eaten dinner. I'd have to eat another meal after the run as a muscle builder. I'd also have to take another shower. Which would be two shower's a day. Which is nutty.
____________
So I'm having a mental break down. Right now. Or a Panic Attack. It's funny, because I've been dramatic, and had little bouts of short breath and dizzyness. But this is different. I'm totally calm. I'm not relaxed by any means. But I am at ease. Because I know there is nothing I can do about the shit swirling around me.
These are facts:
I am here.
The Avett Brothers are my favorite currently.
I almost always wish I was running.
I won't ever be beautiful.
I heard a quote on Twitter today: "These girls would have to be twice as pretty to be half as pretty as they think they are"
I thought that was pretty funny.
Wow. This is....Crazy.
I would have thought that after realizing these thing I would be sobbing.
These are facts:
I will live a mediocre life.
My dreams are childish.
I am not special.
I am here.
I'm sick of being hurt. I'm sick of the cold. Coming from the weather and from fellow humans.
So here I shall embrace it.
An open letter to Hurt.
Hurt,
I welcome you to my body. My life. Do your damndest. I'll be your biggest fan. I'll also be your biggest accomplishment.
But I'm sorry, Hurt, I cannot say I will broadcast your whereabouts to anyone. I'd like to just silently be bffs.
We'll can try to come to a compromise, but soon you will learn, I will win the argument.
Thanks,
see you soon!
Emily. | | |
| I apologize to myself for again neglecting my xanga.
There's been a lot going on, though. Negative stuff, let me tell you.
I'm dealing with lots of emotionally draining sludge.
1. Kids listening
2. friendships
3. Job
4. Bf
So the kids. They don't like to listen to me. I find myself being more strict, because sometimes Ashley and Bill aren't. It's sometimes understandable not to hold your ground, as a parent, because they're cute, or just to keep them quiet in public. So I guess since sometimes I tell them "NO" and they they get their way from their parents, and because I can't spank them, there has never been a real consequence to not listening to me. So when I tell Wesley to do something he says: "You're not the boss of me" in a totally disrespectful tone.
Friendship with Ash. Ashley was telling me I'm too strict. So I decided to pull back and basically just watch the kids go bonkers. When they are destructive (which Wesley is usually) then I'm going to just be less strict and watch it happen.
I actually go extremely offended when I was told to correct them less.... I should have been told how to act 7 months ago when I moved here.
Job. Oh brother. I've been trying for a job, on and off, for the last 7 months. It doesn't matter all that much since I don't have rent, and Ashley gives me enough money for for the bills that I do have. But I want to start making money. I want to start saving money. There are things I want to buy, and things I want to do.... (I.e. clothing, accessories, makeup, plane tickets) and I can't because I have enough money for my bills. I barley have enough money to get my hair done. Sooooo I WANT a job. Another thing good about a job? I'll meet people. That way I'm not only friends with Ashley. Also. Get me out of the house. So I'm not constantly here, with the kids, doing nothing...
Jon. So many problems. All of them coming from distance. I can't even begin. I think another post would have to be entirely devoted to that. Which..honestly, how many have I done already?
I've been running. Almost every day. 3.5 miles. I've decreased my 5k time down to 29:33. I'm running a qualifying race on Saturday for the National Marathon in DC.
I just want to have a tiny break from this life in order to keep it. I'm not sure what I'll be doing when Bill comes home from Afghanistan, but I just want to be with Jon.
I went to see John Mayer last night, and I really wish I could be a performing artist. He was good. Sexy. Skillful.
anyway. I've got to start cleaning the house. Putting clip on earrings on Betsy. Changing diapers. watching Wes be destructive without correcting. (He's been repeating "Ka-blam" AROUND 30 TIMES)
Getting my lemons to make some lemonade
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| It's a storm outside
inside too | | |
| It's funny how everything always crashes at the same time...
Or maybe...Everything doesn't crash at once, it falls individually over time and we don't realize it until it's obvious, and by then it seems like a sudden mess.
All I know is:
That is me now.
You'd think I'd have my shit together by now. I don't.
Richie is here for the weekend. I wish he was my real brother.
The more I buy the more I'm bought and the more I'm bought the less I cost. | | |
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